Wednesday, October 14, 2015

from an autistic guy who is trapped

Sad to say that my life really not amazing. Its hard to admit that on sad public platform that I am not ok. I type with great difficulty getting my body TOGETHER to even say anything worthwhile is difficult. I am starting to think that my freezing my obsessions with touching my clothes and sensory, overload is just me now. Its not really the bold one eyed pirate plundering the seven seas of autism anymore. I am just drowning in this sea where I talk to voices in my head because fc dreadful lifesaver to being human is now a cursed anchor that chains me to wretched dependent lonely existence. I hate being unable to talk or type by myself. This is so crap and makes me so sick in my heart and so I resume my sad fake smiles. 

Typing time: [55mins]

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Big events and ahoy [49min]

Hello everyone.

I am very sorry to disappear from the blog for so long. I am still alive and well and now have a beard to match my moustache. It also features some auburn hairs which must mean I'm related to someone Scottish. Many things big things have happened since I last blogged.

My amazing sister got married earlier this year and I had the privilege to represent my family with a speech. She has and still is a huge blessing to me and now has joined forces with my brother in law a hilarious crazy guy who is nicknamed dragon beard for good reasons. He inspired me to grow my own and I'm pleased to defy my Asian baby face genetics.

The other big event is me moving out of home for the long term and hopefully for good. I also have a housemate. He is an unusually optimistic and cheery guy who parties til late and hates rice. He also has cerebral palsy and a law degree. My biggest or most prominent irritant about him is that he can talk enough to get what he wants and so support workers tend to chat to him more than me and decide what we do when we hang out together. I refuse to go to the movies again with him since he decided to watch ted 2 instead of my pick of minions. My eyes are scarred by the experience.

Think a miracle happened when Matt came back as my key support worker when I first moved out from bunking in David's living room. But when my new housemate moved in he disappeared again. It saddened me a lot but I was grateful it happened. I have also cycled through some dud support workers who forget that I employ them. Let's maintain that power balance. I am not scared to fire staff who intimidate or take short cuts. I want to be supported to live my life not babysat or plonked in front of mindless TV or YouTube.

Right now I'm in Townsville at Jupiters hotel getting ready to present my story of school and beyond at Centacare think prepare plan conference. Molly kindly nominated me last year so here I am with Mia. Loved the buffet dinner and breakfast. I'm so stuffed.

Until next time,
The bold one eyed pirate