For a piece of my mind I will give you a world.

I am finding it hard to be not normal. I think people don't understand that I have feelings too but I am not good at expressing them.

Sadness is a concentrated mass overtaking my soul. I want to fit nicely somehow somewhere but autism is a lonely existence where only the brave venture but cannot remain.

The end of the day I am left to my thoughts and normal still is a night dream. Day goes by and yet reality bites. Different mind difficult needs - my life as an outsider.

Maybe a star studded sky can forward an answer. Yes.

the key to happiness

Thank every day your loved ones.

Up it on your priorities, it's too easy to take them for granted. No one has to love you. It is a very beautiful gift beyond all the diamonds and anything we can see with our eyes.

You are a wonderful being with so much to offer. I am so blessed to be in such a caring family.

I want to take the time to say be strong be bold stand up for the people who can't stand alone and fight. The world is in dire need of heroes. I know it is easy to just focus on your own problems, but open your horizons see how blessed you rest comforted and loved you are.

Thank you my friends.

Useless till now.

Every time every one every day is looking for a place to belong.

I think it is something we are born with. I decide to tame my boring days but it's hard thing to say another word without support.

Slowly I knot another story and I underscore another small but delighted victory.

I score an audience of another kind.

Understand that my typing reason hasnt been lightly dreamt.

I am an open thinker and there is more to me than meets the eye.

The wish is this that I am talking to kings and to night oaks and sympathetic readers. Kings meaning the least burdened and the most relaxed and the most talented.

Here is a reminder fed from my heart to yours...

Believe in yourselves that you can make a contribution to the world, a smile to a stranger, that your battles and triumphs can fill someone with hope that thank you for encouragement.

So it ends up being more of a reflection.

Thanks for reading, my friends.

the end of time

you may think that my life is reasonably difficult. finding time to blog is hard and requires everyone involved to be pleasant and patient. but here i am and how do you do. it isnt easy to type under pressure the world goes much too fast i think it is a shame that i cant type by myself it would make things so much easier and i can take as much time as i need instead of waiting for mia to have a bit of free time to help me.

it saddens me that i must be economical with my words as it takes a lot of concentration to type even just one sentence. i am jealous of those who can speak it makes people stop what they are doing and listen. but this is how things are so must make the most of it.

so many thoughts run through my head probably as much as a normal person but you cant tell can you? the fact that my muscles wont do what i tell them drives everyone nuts including myself. it would be nice to be normal but autism is like black hair you just get it and thats that.

what would it be like to be you for a day? would you want to take a glimpse of mine? i think it would make you think twice about the way you view people who act weird and dont look into your eyes for they fear you would look into their chaotic minds and label them as a misshapen being.

dont judge.

we may know more than you think. my time is up.

until next time,
the bold one-eyed pirate

where is the kind of day that makes tears go away?

i wonder what it would be like if weird sounds didnt escape from my mouth and my hands stopped flapping and if i could look at people in the eye. its so hard to stop my autism from showing like hiding my toes from my shoes. i think its easy for people to forget that though i have a voice and can fc i am still not normal and like the other guy across the street who can sms and do facebook and other things.

i like the net because no one can see how hard it is for me to type and how my sister is good and giving me support. lately it has been very new and stressful starting in new schools and having new fc partners.

God help me please.

I ate too much tonight. starving myself is a hopeless idea i get into too much trouble and i feel sick anyway. i am very tired.

talk to you later, world.

every sunset brings a sunrise.

i think its been far too long since i last blogged. it will be great when i start school again and i learn how to type by myself so i dont have to undertake the task with mia all the time i got to stop being lazy.

i got to make this a quick blog mia is very tired and grumpy she didnt get much sleep last night so thats why. i think studying is hard especially when you having a school that isnt helpful. i think it should be a right for people to learn even if they have yes a bit of difficulties with school. it is very frustrating typing so late at night. we all get grumpy and slow so i think we will continue this another day.

goodnight

The Day the Sky went Purple

The Day the Sky went Purple
By the Bold One-Eyed Pirate

Positivity isn’t an easy thing. It takes a lot of effort. I should know that it’s very hard. It’s not easy being autistic. Sometimes it’s so frustrating being in a body that won’t listen to me. I think the worst thing is, is that people don’t understand. It’s not much different to being a paraplegic because you can’t do much either way. It is annoying that people will be more sympathetic to someone in a wheelchair than to a person with autism. It irks me that people don’t treat me as if I can understand. Just because I make funny faces and walk a bit weird people think I’m mental. I also sometimes find it hard to make eye contact. It’s very uncomfortable to do so because it feels like I’m looking into someone’s past and it scares me. People are very complicated things. I wonder if it’s easier to look at their toes than their eyes. At least it’s simpler and might just smell a bit yuck.

What does it mean to be totally reliant on someone? It’s definitely not easy especially when they are so busy. But I don’t get mad like some people with autism do. I’m just grateful that I’ve found my voice, although it does sound a lot like my sister. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not a sissy. I do like pink but pink doesn’t mean I’m a girl. I think it’s silly that people think pink is a girly colour and that boys shouldn’t like pink. Pink is an acquired taste. You need the right shade not something like Barbie pink. That being said, I used to like Barbie when I was little. My sister was the one with the racing cars. Yes, we were quite different. But now I love Formula One racing cars especially the one driven by Michael Schumacher. I hope one day I can see a race for myself. It must be so thrilling!

Everyday I wonder to myself ‘Why am I like this?’ But that’s not always a sensible question to ask. That’s like asking why the sky’s blue or purple or black. I believe God has let me be like this for a reason. I think it’s to inspire people just like me. They must still be trapped. At least I’ve found my way out. That is hope already. The thing is, I don’t get why people get miserable about the silliest of things like missing a party or not having a girlfriend. They should be grateful that they have friends and that one day they’ll get married. I’m glad that I have a very loving family. They always encourage me to dream big and if I work hard, I can achieve anything.

It is great to be me. I can honestly say that. So be thankful for who you are. Don’t complain or whinge. You are more blessed than millions of people already.

So smile a bit more! But I don’t smile much – I’m trying to be cool but my sister says I’m just being weird. Oh well, just being myself. That’s the best place to be. No one’s more good at being you!